das Leben ist schön 人生は美しい

Follow the flowchart to determine whether you are in a dream or not.

If you are, kill yourself to wake up.

3 good friends, an Indian, a Chinese and a Malay were involved in an
accident and died on the spot. All 3 of them went to the heavens. Upon
reaching the heavens, 3 of them was on the waiting list, to meet god.
During this time, all 3 members of the family decide to do a funeral
together. All 3 bodies was peacefully placed on 3 coffins next to each other.
So, back to the heavens; the 3 lads finally got their turn to meet god.
But when god is about to register their names, he suspect that 3 of
them are not suppose to die yet. God told them they have at least 50
years to live. Rejoice, 3 of them was ordered to be set free down to
Earth. However, a greedy angel demand RM1000 from each of them
before he could set all 3 of them free…

Down at Earth, at the funeral, the Indian fella woke up from the coffin.
Everyone was shocked, of course. The Indian guy explained to
everyone that God decides to let them live but have to pay the angel
the sum of RM1000. The Indian said he straight away paid the angel
lump sum cash of Rm1000 without hesitation.

Everyone was puzzled. Why only the Indian was revived. Where is the Chinese and Malay. The Indian explained

“The Chinese will be coming down very soon. He’s negotiating the price
with the Angel. He won’t pay unless the angel agree with RM800.”
“The Malay?”
Read more…

Have you tolerate enough with your current car, being laughed at, under estimated at, looked down upon, and always overtaken by other cars on the road?

Every time you’re being cursed for hogging up the right lane, flashed with high beam from the back, young kids driving Toyota Vios or Honda City overtaking you from both left and right lanes, and despite you stepping HARD on the accelerator pedal but your speedometer is pointing hard at 60kmh w sinusoidal vibration of 1mm amp.

No, the loud distorted engine sound is not bad-ass but it is actually the Engine crying out loud yelling “Oh dear owner, please spare my life”.

OK, stop frowning now because all those were of your past.

As you’ve known I owns a Mercedes SLK and it has done me a lot of good, I’m reluctant to let it go but I’m getting a BMW so it is impossible for me to drive both cars at the same time.

As the saying “Your car is like your wife”, and I’m a faithful lover I do not support the idea of Polygamy.

The specifications(& photo) of my Mercedes SLK is as follows :-

Read more…

Customer A has requested for a COPA report. You just received an email containing the requirements and specifications for the report.

First, you login to the Query Designer (2:00pm).

Second, you select an existing COPA InfoProvider (2:02pm).

Thirdly, you start dragging the relevant Objects to the rows(2:06pm).

Fourthly, you drag the entire structure for key figures to the column(2:24pm).

Fifthly, you save your query and give it a nice name(2:30pm). You’re done ! All in 30 minutes.

You then send an email to Customer A and CC the finance department.

Dear Customer A,

We have review your Development Change Request(DCR) for a new COPA report, and would like to inform you it is feasible and able to be developed.

This development requires extensive COPA objects and modeling, hence we’re quoting RM65,000 for this development.This development will require 5 working man days to complete.

Please review the DCR and approve the DCR if you’re satisfied with the proposed timeline and DCR charges, and we’ll get the green light to start this development.

Thank You.

Yours Faithfully,
Con-sul-tant

Normally the customer will just accept to pay the quoted price and timeline.

So you can spend ur 5 days time spamming facebook and forum, by the end of the 5th day, you send an email to the Customer A and tell them the development has been done and is within the proposed timeframe and SLA has been met. Your company is now richer by RM65,000.

Easy money huh

Komik A

Komik B——————————————————————————————–

Read more…

There’s a lot of meme on the Internet lately.

I’ve learnt a lot…. especially from /K/.

But the most epic of all

is this..

Woman should stay in the kitchen.