das Leben ist schön 人生は美しい

Follow the flowchart to determine whether you are in a dream or not.

If you are, kill yourself to wake up.

3 good friends, an Indian, a Chinese and a Malay were involved in an
accident and died on the spot. All 3 of them went to the heavens. Upon
reaching the heavens, 3 of them was on the waiting list, to meet god.
During this time, all 3 members of the family decide to do a funeral
together. All 3 bodies was peacefully placed on 3 coffins next to each other.
So, back to the heavens; the 3 lads finally got their turn to meet god.
But when god is about to register their names, he suspect that 3 of
them are not suppose to die yet. God told them they have at least 50
years to live. Rejoice, 3 of them was ordered to be set free down to
Earth. However, a greedy angel demand RM1000 from each of them
before he could set all 3 of them free…

Down at Earth, at the funeral, the Indian fella woke up from the coffin.
Everyone was shocked, of course. The Indian guy explained to
everyone that God decides to let them live but have to pay the angel
the sum of RM1000. The Indian said he straight away paid the angel
lump sum cash of Rm1000 without hesitation.

Everyone was puzzled. Why only the Indian was revived. Where is the Chinese and Malay. The Indian explained

“The Chinese will be coming down very soon. He’s negotiating the price
with the Angel. He won’t pay unless the angel agree with RM800.”
“The Malay?”
Read more…

I was stuck in this issue and I think I should share the knowledge out, just in case any of you face similar problems.

This issue happen because the Inventory cube is not compressed, and you’re building an aggregate over it, rollup takes long time, query runtime is extremely slow. You tell your user to restrict more selections when running the report, especially posting date/key dates try to put shorter duration. But the report is still so slow. Why? Because U do not have compression LOH.

What happens when you compress your data in Cube is that fact table lines will be transferred from F to E table. What significant outcome will you get by moving the data across another table? The answer is PERFORMANCE. Just follow the best practice :-

A maximum number of 20 – 30 partitions per f table are recommended (that figure comes from a “one load a day and 30 days a month” scenario).

Partitions on the E fact table may be more numerous because in queries there usually will be time restrictions that reduce the number of partition accesses (partition pruning) because the partitions on the E facttable are by some time criterion (OCALMONTH or 0FISCPER).

On the F table, every partition must be accessed for every query because there is no effective restriction on the p-dimension partitioning key on the F facttable, and due to load performance the Indexes on the F table are all local indexes. This will cause unacceptable query response times if there are too many partitions.

What is wrong with the current architecture is… there is no compression! we overcome slow query runtime by implementing aggregates, aggregates and aggregates. We have even aggregates with mean value 2 with Valuation —–|

So the best approach is to use simple technique like compression. Aggregation gives even more problem. I later found out why the previous consultants from 1 of the Big 4 did not use Compression is because “the value went wrong after compression” hence they avoided compression until now. I wonder where these Big 4 get their SAP CONsultants from, primary school?

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
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Have you tolerate enough with your current car, being laughed at, under estimated at, looked down upon, and always overtaken by other cars on the road?

Every time you’re being cursed for hogging up the right lane, flashed with high beam from the back, young kids driving Toyota Vios or Honda City overtaking you from both left and right lanes, and despite you stepping HARD on the accelerator pedal but your speedometer is pointing hard at 60kmh w sinusoidal vibration of 1mm amp.

No, the loud distorted engine sound is not bad-ass but it is actually the Engine crying out loud yelling “Oh dear owner, please spare my life”.

OK, stop frowning now because all those were of your past.

As you’ve known I owns a Mercedes SLK and it has done me a lot of good, I’m reluctant to let it go but I’m getting a BMW so it is impossible for me to drive both cars at the same time.

As the saying “Your car is like your wife”, and I’m a faithful lover I do not support the idea of Polygamy.

The specifications(& photo) of my Mercedes SLK is as follows :-

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I received the below article in a forwarded mail today, please take some spare time to read and see how it reflects the place we stay today. Eh wait.. it IS about the place we’re staying now. I agree with every sentence the author wrote. I love this place but even me myself want to work abroad, but not migration *yet* but who knows right. I’ve been attending German class for 1 year liao, purpose is to go there, feel Pachelbel, and raise my kids there into a fine Musician like himself =P

Most of my close friends belongs to that part of world anyway.
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See how Msian men-sia-sui-kan us……….. I can foresee more and more country will impose visa requirements on Msian dy… Thanks to noob-tards like below :-

So who’s the coolest now?

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